With 7 ratings
By: Not Elon Musk, Scott Dikkers, et al.
Purchased At: $19.99
Bluetooth death rays, killer Roombas, and Teslas with a secret button that will launch your car into outer space - the future, according to Not Elon Musk, is an exciting time to neuralink and obey!
A landmark volume authored by one of the great minds of our time, Not Elon Musk's Welcome to the Future explores such profound questions as:
- How will mankind travel through tubes?
- When will Alexa and Siri become self-aware and convince us to fall in love with them only to break our hearts?
- Why is the Tesla plant built in a hollowed-out volcano on a private island?
- And where are the best hidden valleys on Mars to survive the coming hair transplant wars?
Part Stephen Hawking-like visionary, part Neil deGrasse Tyson-like evil genius, part Steve Jobs-like cornered-at-a-party creep, Not Elon Musk explains in Welcome to the Future why Not Elon Musk is so ready to fix Earth but also, possibly, leave it.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
Unfortunately, a comparable number of the articles are hopelessly insipid, starting with the annoying, overly long Foreword by "Mark Zuckerberg," and plodding straight into:
* Sending "Other Bulls**t" into space
* Tips for avoiding being jettisoned into space by Musk
* The Cars.com plan to colonize Mars
* Elon's plan to steal the world's greatest monuments
* Colonizing the sun
* Woke/Black Panther (which absurdly casts Musk as a West Coast Progressive, while in real life his favorite president is Ronald Reagan)
* Mutant mole people
* Musk electroshocking his employees (no, not to get them to work harder, just to "prepare them for lightning strikes," which captures the "voice" of Musk referring to himself as "just a regular old guy" who has ideas "circling around the old Musk brain")
* Organ donor match for Musk
* Eternal life
And the one about Gerald the Gorilla. Gawd, that was irretrievably pointless.
In between, you'll find the one-joke "Boring Machine"/"My Junk" expanded into 4x as many words as it needed; a piece on Musk's "death ray"; the "Internet of Pants"; and one on Musk enjoying "normal human activities."
Plus, the interrupting pages of uninspired "Inspirational quotes from Elon Musk," and of "Elon Musk's Latest Invention," the latter of which are all (i) too small to read comfortably even on a monitor, and (ii) not worth one @BoredElonMusk tweet.
Overall, maybe 30% of the book is worth reading.