Adventures of Thunderstorm: Return of Thor
There are bad movies(twilight, snakes on a plane, the last air bender) and there are good movies(the dark knight, dances with wolves, return of the king) and good bad movies( troll 2, naked gun, evil dead, gremlins) and then there's bad horrible , abominations that offend every sense of humanity, logic, emotion, and lighting. Adventures of thunderstorm: the return of Thor is one of them.
This movie might be the worst movie on Netflix instant. And I've seen a lot of garbage on Netflix instant and the only movies as bad as this are battle New York day 2 and the black knight returns. I'm sure there's more on there I'm just afraid to look.
The very beginning of this pile will have pulling your hair out as it forces you to read a novel of worthless information and backstory that is utterly unnecessary mainly because you figure all that garbage out throughout the film. It was a waste.
It cuts ton Asgaurd the realm of the Norse gods. It's the saddest excuse for special effects I've seen this decade. It's mainly a still of a Celtic church with stars around it. Then Odin and Thor start talking to each about a new hero needs to rise or some crap, who cares really. Apparently Thor and Odin are just gigantic wizard of oz heads that hang out by a Celtic church in the stars. Amazing.
Then they introduce us to some guy thats a high level military scientist who's creating a super soldier suit. This is our hero of the film. He's is poor, lazy , dimwitted, self centered, unfit, just all all-around unlikeable. The worst part is they made him like this on purpose. He is the worst protagonist I have ever seen in a movie and I'm not just saying that, he literally IS the worst. He's by no means the worst actor in the film, so that's a plus I guess.
Anyway, he's suppose to also be a distant relative to Thor and he and his even more lamer buddy made a super suit for the military that just looks offensively atrocious. It looks like a mix between batman and iron man. What the suit does is....I don't know. They tried to garble a bunch of technical gibberish to make suit sound like it actually did things. It even had Thor's hammer with it lol. They claim it was an electrical stabilizer thingy and even one of the scientist said " I think it looks like a hammer" lol classic. I also didn't realize top grade scientists that worked for our military were poor losers that drove crappy cars and worked in confined rented offices with only one computer and a clipboard. Amazing.
The film just craps all over itself from this point on. The acting will have you laughing at every other line. The villain dude will make you laugh at every line. He's the worst actor in the film. Hearing him deliver a line is like watching an old lady fall down an escalator. at first ,its funny been then you want to help them. The thick Canadian accent didn't help either. Nothing says sinister like Canadian right? He was just awful, I wanted to pat him on the back and say with a smile "you gave it your best shot, maybe let someone else try now".
The fight scenes were perhaps the biggest blunder of this suckhole of a movie. Slow pace, sloppy and down right confusing. I honestly don't know how you can make a worse fight scene. Every shot, every line, every fight scene, every set piece, every sound effect and special effect was just a pure disaster. I don't know if this movie was made by someone who's trying to get their work noticed in Hollywood, or if they're just comic fans with time and money and zero experience or if someone tried to make an easy buck of the real Thor movie or all the above. All I know is, once the laughter at this horrible film stopped all I felt was offended. Offended that these people thought we could be entertained by this or be fooled into buying it on DVD. It's a failure and all copies and people involved in this film should be destroyed. Stay away. I'm going to watch the next pile of crap I can find on Netflix an review that too. people must know to stay way from horrors that some film makers bring to amazon and Netflix and red box etc..... My wife will have to endure the suffering with me and my crusade. AMERICAN WARSHIPS ( rip off of the big budget film battleship) your next!!!!